‘Steel Magnolias’ Is Celebrating 35 Years Of Wonderful With Fathom Events. Fathom Events has a jam-packed schedule of great movies this year. This is my personal favorite.
Playing at theaters on May 5th and May 8, you can sit back and spend time with our favorite ladies from Northwest Louisiana. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You will enjoy the ride.
This classic movie has one of the most all-star casts there is. Starring as Truvy Jones is the one and only Dolly Parton. Cantankerous Ouiser Boudreaux is Shirley MacLaine. Wise Clairee Belcher is the one and only Olympia Dukakis. Shy Annelle Dupuy Desoto is Daryl Hannah. Matriarch M’Lynn Eatenton is expertly played by Sally Field. In one of her first roles, Julia Roberts plays Shelby Eatenton Latcherie. The men of the cast include Tom Skerritt as Drum Eatenton, Sam Shepard as Spud Jones, and Dylan McDermott as Jackson Latcherie.
This movie has been a part of my life since I was a teen. I remember sitting at my high school best friend’s house and watching it on repeat. Furthermore, I have seen it so many times that I often will quote it. There are so many pearls of wisdom in this movie.
The story is one of love, friendship, loss, laughter, tears, and more. The movie is based on Robert Harling’s play. It centers around the lively Truvy Jones’ beauty parlor. There, a tightly-knit band of friends, confront grief, loss, life’s unforeseen tragedies, and heartaches with what they do best: gossiping and sharing. The spirited diabetic and bride-to-be, Shelby; her always supportive mother, M’Lynn; Truvy’s gawky assistant, Annelle; the city’s curmudgeon, Ouiser; and the town’s former first lady, Clairee, are the warm Southern belles who know how to survive life’s challenges with their unwavering friendship. But when Shelby decides to conceive, things will turn upside down.
Each one of these women brings something unique to the group. Never have I had a movie take me from painful sobbing to hysterical laughter in one breath. Again, some of the best quotes in a movie come from this.
Ouiser Best Lines:
“You are evil, and you must be destroyed.”
“Annelle, take your Bible and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.”
“I’m not crazy; I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!”
“This is it, I’ve found it. I’m in hell.”
“Don’t try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one!”
“What’s the matter with you these days, M’Lynn? You got a reindeer up your butt?”
“There. My secret’s out. I’m having an affair with a Mercedes Benz!”
“The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.”
“I’m not as sweet as I used to be.”
“He is a boil on the butt of humanity.”
“I am an old Southern woman, and I am supposed to wear funny clothes, ugly hats, and dig in the dirt. I did not make the rules.”
“Ugh. Leave me alone.”
“Are you high, Clairee?!”
Clairee Best Lines:
(looking at the mayor’s girdle-less wife dancing) “Looks like two pigs fightin’ under a blanket. “
“Well, you know what they say: If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”
“Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today? You run over a small child or something?”
(positioning Ouiser in front of a distraught M’Lynn) “Hit this! Go ahead, M’Lynn, slap her! … We’ll sell t-shirts sayin’ ‘I SLAPPED OUISER BOUDREAUX!’”
“Ouiser, this is your chance to do something for your fellow man. Knock her lights out, M’Lynn!”
“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.”
“You know I love ya more than my luggage.”
“They were both high. They’d been smokin’ everything but their shoes.”
“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
“I really do love football, but it’s hard to parlay that into a reason to live.”
“I’m just too colorful for words.”
Truvy Best Lines:
“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”
“Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin’ across your face.”
“There’s so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.”
“Smile! It increases your face value.”
“Oh, Sammy’s so confused he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.”
“In a good shoe, I wear a size six, but a seven feels so good, I buy a size eight.”
“Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.”
“Oh, honey, God don’t care which church you go to, long as you show up!”
“There is no such thing as natural beauty.”
“I’m just screamin’ at my husband; I can do that any time!”
“Now, see, that’s what really melts my butter.”
“Oh, get with it, Clairee. This is the ’80s. If you can achieve puberty, you can achieve a past.”
“When it comes to pain and suffering, she’s right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.”
“It takes some effort to look like this.”
“A cuppa-cuppa-cuppa? That’s simple; you don’t need to write that down. A cup of flour, a cup of sugar, a cup of fruit cocktail with the juice, and you mix and bake at 350 to a golden bubbly.”
M’Lynn Best Lines:
(referring to Shelby’s pink wedding decorations) “That sanctuary looks like it’s been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.”
“You are special, Shelby. There are limits to what you can do.”
(screaming) “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine! I can jog all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can’t! She never could! Oh, God! I am so mad I don’t know what I want to do. I wanna know why! I wanna know why Shelby’s life is over! I wanna know how that baby will ever know how wonderful his mother was. Will he ever know what she went through for him? Oh, God, I wanna know why. Why? Lord, I wish I could understand!”
“Oh my God, Shelby was right. My hair does look like a brown football helmet!”
“If he’s trying to drive me crazy, it’s too late.”
Shelby Best Lines:
“Pink is my signature color.”
“Mama, I don’t know why you have to make everything so difficult. I look at having a baby as the opportunity of a lifetime. Sure, there may be risks involved, but that’s true for anybody. But you get through it and life goes on. And when it’s all said and done, there will be a little piece of immortality with Jackson’s good looks and my sense of style, I hope. Please, please, I need your support. I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”
“Remember what Daddy always says: ‘An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure!’”
“Relax! You can’t screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet.”
“Mama, this nail polish is drying way too dark… looks like a stuck pig bled all over my hands.”
“My colors are blush and bashful, Mama.”
Other Best Lines:
Annelle: “That is one ugly dog. What kind of dog is that.”
Clairee: “If it had hair, it’d be a Saint Bernard.”
Annelle: “Are you speaking of our Lord? Is that whose name you’re taking in vain?”
Sammy: “That’s the one.” Annelle: “Well, I’m sorry, Sammy. But I am not about to spend the next 50 years of my life with someone I’m not gonna run into in the hereafter.” Sammy: “Oh, Annelle, goddamnit!” Annelle: “I think we should pray.” Sammy: “Oh, I’d rather eat dirt!”
Drum: “Ouiser, can we call a truce long enough for me to get a piece of cake?”
(She cuts him a piece of the tail end of the Armadillo groom’s cake) Drum: “Aww, thanks, Ouiser. Nothin’ like a good piece of ass.”
Ok, I will stop there. I love this movie. I can see it every day or I can wait many years in between viewings and this will always bring me joy. So, that being said, who wants to go see this with me? I’ll be there in May. Fathom Events has your tickets here.
